yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
