i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Your cock deserves a montage
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
