The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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