In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize