one two three fourrrrnication!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
