She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think we might need a safe word for this...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
