SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
