This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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