shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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