you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
