i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
