shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
