sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Too much gin, very little bucket
she told me i tasted like america
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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