sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
