It's Friday. Sex?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
