This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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