The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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