This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize
