No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
