Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize