Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize