Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
two words: eviction party
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
