Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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