TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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