So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
