who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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