I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
