Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
