moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
