Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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