I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
