I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
