This is not my ceiling
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
