I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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