and i looked up. we had an audience...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
