Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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