Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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