Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
