ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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