these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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