just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
two words: eviction party
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize