How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize