You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
