Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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