there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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