Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize