It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
