I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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