thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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