summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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