i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
