don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
