My room smells like vodka and shame
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
