I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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